Idea

Ok, I saw where BRazil is thinking about giving homeless people mobile phones. I think this is a great idea if we then turn them into crimefighters. For every mugging, theft, or robbery they thwart using the phone, they get a free meal. For every murder they thwart they even get dessert.

Flashforward

There is a new show on ABC called "Flashforward."

Here is my problem with it... the title, although it makes sense on the surface, really makes no sense.

"Flashforward" is supposed to be the opposite of "flashback." These people see a "flash" of something to happen in the future. That's where the "flash" part comes in.

So, then the opposite of "back" is "front", right? Shouldn't it be "Flashfront?" In this context, no.

Let's look at it from another angle. The opposite of "forward" is "backward." So, the title of the show is correct, but the long accepted term "flashback" is not. It should be "flashbackward" and should have been all these years, I guess. Either that or the show should be called "Flashfor."

It seems to me that the best way to resolve this would be if the show just changes it's name to "Flashahead." If they do that, then and only then will I be able to follow along with it's ridiculous storyline.

Some Quick Hits

1. I should be working
2. I care less about the Red Sox than usual. I think I will watch if they make it to the World Series... but beyond that, I make no promises. It is hard to follow a team from far away.
3. I am looking forward to the Celtics season. They added some good players and they started out 29-2 last year. Garnett may or may not be healthy, but for now I will be optimistic.
4. I really should be working.
5. I am proud to say that I have never watched an episode of "Dancing With the Stars" from start to finish.
6. I am ashamed to say that I watch four consecutive episodes of "Sex Decoy Love Stings" the other night and liked it.
7. I never update my facebook status because I always figure nobody cares what I am thinking or doing.
8. Sweatfest survived the loss of Matt17 as its organizer but could not overcome the loss of JS... unless it was conducted somewhere else without my knowledge.
9. I really really should be working.

Make Those Rims Shine, Ms. New Booty

The other day I drove by a place called "Get it Rite, Get it Tite Detail'n."

I have not written much lately and sometimes I feel like I am lacking in creativity or ambition or some other thing I haven't the energy to think of.

Sometimes I think that the stuff I see in the world is just so much more funny than anything I could hope to write.

There are lots of things I see around here which need to be documented with photos but when I weigh that need against my need to not get my ass kicked if I am seen taking said photo, I usually refrain.

September 9

September has always been my favorite month, at least ever since I can remember being old enough not to strictly judge a month based on how many presents people were obligated to give me during that month.

September 9, 1997 was a great day for me. I had passed the bar exam the previous year and had been working at a law firm for several months. Me and several coaches that I had worked with before had left the local YMCA to coach our own swim team. We were finally going to be able to coach the kids without the politics of the YMCA getting in the way. We had tryouts the previous weekend and the turnout had been good.

I don't remember much about September 9, 1997 specifically. I might have had to go to court that day. I might have been at the Federal Building meeting with a Bankruptcy Trustee. I don't remember what I did or who I did it with, but my life would change dramatically that day even if I didn't know it yet.

On September 9, 1997, over 1500 miles away from the three bedroom apartment I shared with my brother and my friend, my son was born.

Brandon's mother and father were in West Monroe, Louisiana. It was a town of which I had never heard. I certainly knew nothing of this new baby until almost 9 years later.

Brandon is a great kid. He is smart. He is funny. He is challenging... and never boring. He tries my patience, but has proven to me time and time again that I am capable of seemingly infinite patience and understanding at times.

As a 26 year old attorney filing divorces and bankruptcies, I was a pretty bitter and cynical guy in 1997. I was cynical when I didn't even yet know about what to be cynical. Some time after that, I learned to have a better attitude. I learned to be more tolerant. These traits are necessary for any good parent to possess.

Every day, I am so thankful that Brandon is in my life now. I hope that he has a very happy 12th birthday today (even though we still have to talk about that note he lied about giving his teacher... .)

Rodneysdad, continued

Sorry about the letdown here. I know I said I would write about Heather and Rodneysdad but I kind of got bored with the story.

He told her that she had been mean to him every since she thought he put an ironing board in our driveway 2 years ago.

“How do you know I thought YOU put it there, Joe?” she asked.
“Because it was thrown in my yard,” he answered. “I didn’t put it there, but I know who did.”
“Who put it there?” She asked.
“Oh, I am not going to tell you that now. You have been mean to me. I have never had any problems with people complaining about the fence line until now. I have always gotten along with all the neighbors.”
“Joe we asked you to cut it last year, and earlier this year. The old woman in the wheelchair who lived here before us said she asked you to cut it 10 years ago and you told her that you grew it so you wouldn’t have to look at her ugly shed.”
“Yeah, I did say that. Bill on the other side never complained.”

I stepped in and said, “No, Joe, instead he built an 8 foot high wood fence on that one side of his yard.”
“Oh, you don’t know anything. You have not been here very long,” he told me.
“Joe, I can see the fence and that they only built it on one side of their back yard.”

Heather resumed, “They built it because you have the ugliest house and yard on the goddamned block.”

It went on from there, but you get the idea. It was good times. Let’s just say that it pretty much ended with Heather telling him he was a liar and a crazy old man with mental problems.

Fence

For years and years, the fence line in the back yard has been a problem here. You see our neighbor Joe, Rodney's Dad, is an asshole. He lets the bushes and weeds grow up so high through and over the fence that it is virtually impossible to keep under control.

The picture above is the "before" picture.

We have asked him a few times to clean it up so that the weeds aren't encroaching 5-6 feet over our fence. He did clean it up one time about a year ago but generally he does nothing with it. To make matters worse, he is only there about one weekend a month as he lives with his lady friend in Arkansas. We can't ask him to clean it even if we wanted to.

About a month ago, Heather got sick of asking him and seeing nothing done so she called the city. The city has all kinds of ordinances about how tall your grass can be and stuff like that so they said they would come out to look at it. With them being the City of Shreveport, we figured that meant they would do nothing and wait until we called again.

We did not see them show up at first, but we found out they did when Rodney's Dad showed up and he was pissed off at us. He had received a certified letter basically telling him he had 2 weeks to get it cleaned up or face a fine and the cost of the city to clean it up for him. Because his mail is forwarded, he got the letter 2 days before the deadline and had to drive down from Arkansas and spend two solid days in 100 degree heat cleaning up his yard. He could have paid a yard guy a couple hundred bucks to do it but he is too cheap.

By the time he was done working on it, he was good and mad when he decided to confront Heather. That was not a good idea.

To be continued...